5 Lessons I Learned in 'The Valley'

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It’s Throwback Thursday and I'm sharing a selfie. In this pic, I’m smiling because I’m happy. I’m free and content in my own skin.

I’m sharing a bit from my journey in hopes of encouraging you.

Life can be tough. I know because I've been through the valley. Truth be told, I still have valley moments yet I've learned how to adjust my attitude and perspective to cope better when times get tough.


Between 2005-2007 I was having a really challenging time in my life.

 I was in a job I didn’t enjoy, my finances were strained, my relationships were contentious, my living situation was tentative, my friendships were questionable and I was constantly stressed out. My soul was uneasy and I did not have spiritual peace. I mean it was so rough, I even remember having regular car accidents. I just couldn't understand it.

I had a tough upbringing and from what I endured I felt that things just had to get better. When in fact it felt like it just kept getting worse.

This drove me into a deep depression and I was quite sad for a very long time. During this time I mostly kept to myself. I went to work, did what I had to do. Spent most of my time at work, went home, went to sleep...and repeated the cycle each day.

I wasn't happy...at all.

Then, one day...I had a moment. Literally a moment,  where I decided that I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out of this rut! 

I remember saying ‘Teca, this is enough. If you don’t change something fast, you'll get nowhere."

This literally shook me to my core. It was a moment with myself and God that made the rest of my journey what it is today. 

I decided to take action and invest in my growth. I chose to grow myself spiritually, I sought out therapy and the help that I needed. I ended relationships that were holding me down, started getting my finances in order, did some career exploration, took a certificate program and decided that I wasn't going to stay in this place any longer.

That was when things started to turn around. 


We all have our valley moments...I had mine. I made it through.

Here's what I learned while in the valley.

1. Find Your Confidence: 'The Valley" is a dark place. If there is no love for self, it can make the rest of the world seem confusing. Believe in your worth and your value.

2. See Your Purpose: We all have a reason for being here. It's hard to see it when you are in a dark place but it's very true. Each of us has a gift to offer the world. We sometimes are not operating from our strength zones and do work that is not meaningful. When this happens we are not able to see value in what we bring. Find and focus on your strengths and activate this in your pursuit of a career where you can feel valuled and can add value.

3. Heal The Spirit: I know that my existence isn't because of my own doing. I have a firm belief in God. The one that has made a way for me from the day that my struggles began almost 40 years ago. We all have our own truths and I encourage you to find yours. What I have discovered is that I had to connect with God before I could totally embrace myself and ultimately connect with others.

4. Relationships are Key: While I was going through the valley, my relationships were a mess. I couldn't relate well to others. I later learned to take responsibility for choosing relationships that did not serve either party well. I had to learn to be at peace with myself before I could be at peace with others. When I healed myself, I connected better with others.

5. Make a Decision: I made a choice. I decided that I had to be in control of my life. Not my boss, not my ex, not my family, not my friends, ME. I had to take control of where I was going and what I wanted out of life. So I made a choice, to invest in my growth. I chose to stop doing things that were not working and I chose to move out of the valley.

Today, I'm living the life that I want, on my own terms. It's not always a rosy path but it's my path.

When we are going through the valley it can feel like the world is ending, it can feel like there is no point in living, it can feel like you are alone in this big world...but here's what I want to say to encourage you...

BE STILL...AND KNOW...THIS VALLEY you may be going through, Will Pass! You just have to decide to get in the driver's seat and take control of your life.

Are you going through the valley right now? Feeling stuck or lost in your career? Frustrated about running your business and feel completely alone? You don't have to do it alone. Get help from others.

I would like to share with you my 10 Tips for A Thriving Career. In this guide, I share what I have learned to get me to a place where I can honestly say that I have the career of my dreams.


You will be entered into my growing community and receive regular updates, tips, tools and promotions, invitations to special events and our group the Professional's Den. These resources are all designed to help you on your career journey.

I look forward to connecting.

All the best,


Your friend in success